I Like My Life the Way I Like My Coffee

I'm a fairly avid coffee drinker, but I'm not gonna lie: I like my coffee to look much more like milk than coffee.  I'm one of those... "Would you like more coffee with your creamer, ma'am?"  Yep, that's me.  But I don't love when there's so much creamer that I can't taste the coffee anymore. I love to strike that perfect balance... When there's just enough creamer to soften the bitter edge of the coffee, but not so much that it overshadows the coffee.  Throw in a little sweetener, and they are all perfect complements to one another. 

As simplistic as this may be, just as I like my coffee to look more like milk than coffee, I like to look more like God than me!  

     He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 3:30 (NASB)

I'm happiest when I have been in His Presence.  I'm the most satisfied when I know that I'm close to Him.  His Presence takes that bitter edge off of life.  When I skip that quiet time in the morning, because I overslept or am overwhelmed by the list of things to get done that day... Those are the days I become restless inside.  Those are the days I feel edgy and don't like who I am.  Those days, I feel less palatable to myself and to those around me.  I've found that if I can force even 15 minutes into my morning and go ahead and spend some time with God when I'm starting out, the rest of the day goes much smoother, and we strike that perfect balance... God and me, all mixed up together.  It makes for a much more pleasant day!

While this all sounds great, I've also become aware that sometimes some of us struggle with God's increasing and our decreasing, because we're afraid of completely losing who we are... like God wants to make us some Spirit-led robot with no personality and no foot in reality.  We have this notion that God's goal is to have a bunch of hyper-spiritual alien-like humans who all look and sound and act alike.  So we nurture this fear inside that doesn't allow us to completely surrender to God, because we're afraid of what He'll take away or what He'll change about us. 

We mistakenly think that in order for God to take over and really be Lord in our lives, He wants us just to diminish into the background.  God does want 100% surrender, and He wants 100% of you.  But it's not because He wants to smash away everything about you and clone you into somebody else.

Get this... The great thing about locking arms with God is that He already likes you.  Even with all of your flaws, all of your problems, even all of your sins... He still likes you. (No, He doesn't like the sin, but He's wild about the person -- you!)  Remember, He created you.  Every time we see God create in Genesis, we see Him sit back, review His work, and like what He just made!

     God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.  Genesis 1:31 (NIV)

When God made you, He liked you, and He still likes you.  He created your personality, and He likes it, so He's not trying to get rid of the you He created! 

Remember, the purpose of the creamer is to complement the coffee, to make it more palatable, not to mask it altogether.  So while God does require 100% surrender of ourselves, we need to realize that He respects our intricacies and our personalities, because He's the one who put them there.  He's not asking you to become a clone of whoever you think is this year's World's Greatest Christian.  He's asking you for all of you, so He can make you look more like Him.  But you'll still taste a lot like you.

That's why you can see so many different, powerful, anointed ministers who have very different styles but are equally as effective in the Kingdom of God.  One person may pray with you in the altar with tears and wailing and strong emotion, and another person may pray very calmly, systematically, and logically, and both people can be equally as used by God to minister to you.  Their "secret formula" is not the method; it's simply a life of being 100% surrendered to God and led by His Spirit.  Once we surrender, He works through our personalities - who He made us to be - to minister to those around us in our own flavor.

One more thought...  This doesn't mean we have an excuse to refuse change in parts of our personalities that don't line up with who God is.  For example, if I don't guard myself, I can tend to snap at people around me, responding sharply and insensitively to them, especially when I'm feeling pressured or stressed.  This may be a tendency of my personality, but it doen't give me excuse to say, "Well, that's just my personality; I'm just a direct, abrupt person, so people need to get over it."  I still have to surrender 100% of my personality to my Creator, so He can continue to refine me... so His purifying fire can burn away all of the distasteful elements that have become intertwined in my personality by living in a world where the fleshly nature runs rampant.  The great thing is, though, that the nature of a Creator is to continue creating.  As long as I stay 100% surrendered, He will continue creating in me, making me look a lot more like Him.  How exciting is that?!

So, (coffee mugs raised)...

May the surrendering on my end never stop, and may the creating on His end never stop...

Cheers!


___________________________
Amy

More Lessons from the Mouse House

You may have read about our experiences in what I fondly refer to as the "Mouse House" (see Of Mice & Men & Skunks & Such), the rodent-infested house that we used to live in.  I thank God almost daily (sometimes many times a day) for delivering us out of what I refer to as our own, personal Egypt (not as in the modern-day country, but as in the Israelites' period of slavery).  

There is great freedom in not having to live with a feeling of dread every time I open a kitchen drawer... no longer fearing finding remnants that mice have left behind... no longer opening my front door and getting smacked in the face with a lingering skunk smell... no longer having my heart sink every time we discovered a new burrow entrance under our deck... no longer having to inspect every potato in the pantry to be sure it hasn't been snacked on... no longer having chills go up my spine from hearing noises in the walls in the wee hours of the night (shudder)...

Freedom is good.

Once you've been enslaved by something, you appreciate every facet of life that freedom touches.  And it is good to appreciate.  It is good to give thanks.  It is good to reflect for the purposes of praising God and moving forward.  

But we must beware... We must be cautious not to allow one level of freedom to keep us from greater levels of freedom.

Our family now lives in a brand new townhouse in exactly the part of town we had wanted to live in.  We love this place.  However, I find myself sometimes having to remind myself that even though this home is worlds away from the horror we lived in before, this is not our final destination.  My dream home is not a 1400-square-foot townhouse with no front yard and a small back patio.  It would be easy for us to sigh a breath of relief, cling to this place with all our might, and say, "At least it's not the Mouse House..."  

We've had a problem this summer with tiny black ants in the kitchen.  I've caught myself thinking at times, "Well, at least it's not mice!" (Can I get an "Amen!").  But tiny black ants on our counters and food are still not acceptable. No, it is not the degree of problem (or yuck factor) that mice and rats were, but we cannot let the "at least" mindset cause us to lull into mediocrity and refuse to deal with a "minor" issue.  

Beware:  We must not allow our past obstacles or victories to create complacency in our hearts toward our present and future issues. 

The Israelites had been enslaved for so long by Pharaoh and his slave drivers that the wilderness itself offered much freedom.  No more beatings.  No more oppression.  No more unfair, inhumane rulers.  But it was still the wilderness!  While we often criticize the Israelites for how much they complained (Didn't God deliver you from the Egyptians? Why are you complaining about manna?!) I think we overlook an equally as dangerous position of their hearts... Not only were they complaining non-stop, but they became content to the point of complacency.  You don't believe me?  How could I accuse them of complacency when they were constantly complaining?  Don't be fooled.  Just because someone complains constantly doesn't mean they aren't complacent.  Answer this for me:  Just how long did they hang out in the wilderness, knowing God had given them a promise of their dream home?  That's right: 40 years.  Forty years.  Four. Full. Decades.  

The Israelites had a promise of their dream land, but many of them never even got to enter the Promised Land.  They got hung up in the wilderness.  Hey, but at least it was better than Egypt, right?

"At least" can and will keep you from God's best for your life.

Have you seen a woman dating a total loser of a guy?  Sure, he's a dead-beat and does nothing to support or affirm her.  But "at least he doesn't beat me."  "At least he's not like my ex-husband."  "At least he doesn't cheat on me."  At least will keep her from God's best.  God has so much better for her than any of those men who devalue her.

Have you seen a once-ambitious man settle into a boring, unfulfilling job and lose all motivation for advancing his career?  "At least it pays the bills."  "At least nobody bothers me on the job anymore."  "At least I don't have the stress of competing for any promotions."  What about those dreams and career goals he used to have? At least will keep him in "good" and keep him from "great." 

Have you seen a teenager who wants nothing to do with God, but their parents don't want to push them too much, because at least they're not getting in trouble with the law?  At least they're not into any of the really hard drugs?  At least they use protection?  At least just isn't good enough.  That's not God's best.  He loves them more than that.

God loves you more than that.  He loves you too much to leave you in your at least.

I wonder if God's heart grieves over our "at least?"  I wonder if subconsciously, our hearts mourn over what is lost because of our "at least?"  What dreams have we let go of, because it was just easier to settle into where we are now?  What desires have we buried, because we just didn't see how they would ever be fulfilled?


God didn't call us to settle.  He didn't put you on this earth and give you desires so He could withhold them from you.  

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (NLT)


Dear Child of God, if you desire a godly spouse, then that desire was put in you by God.  He gave you that desire, and He will give you (fulfill) that desire.  Please don't settle for "at least," just because what is in front of you is better than what you dated in the past!  

If you desire a successful career, God knows your heart, and if those desires are pure inside of you, then they are from Him.  I challenge you not to become complacent in your pursuit of life.  Look to your source - God alone - to stir up your ambition, your dreams, your desires... and let Him help you chart the course to achieve all that is in your heart to do to advance His Kingdom in whatever field of work He is leading you toward.



What is your at least?  Maybe for you, it's not ants compared to mice, but what are you are currently tolerating because at least it's better than it used to be?


My challenge to myself - and to you - is to get on our faces before God and seek His heart. Seek His desire.  Pray for His desires to replace our own.  Pray that every level of freedom we have experienced will drive us to further levels of freedom, as opposed to lulling us into complacency. 

Our challenge is to step out of where we are and pursue something greater.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)


____________________________
Amy

It's as Easy as P-I-E

I know it’s simple, but how do you spell “pie?” 

I have a sweet tooth.  One of my favorite desserts is apple pie and ice cream.  There is not much better than a slab of creamy ice cream on top of some hot apple pie.  There is just something about that combination of hot and cold that makes my taste buds jump up and down just thinking about it.  When it comes to apple pie, my favorite is Dutch apple pie.  It makes for one amazing bite when the hot pie melts the ice cream onto the crumbly topping...  Excuse me while I wipe my mouth. 

Chances are, if you saw me with a piece of apple pie and ice cream, you would want to try some, based on how much I have talked it up and shared my experiences with pie and ice cream. 

When something means a lot to us, we are likely to share our experience with that thing with those around us.  We interact based on experience.  Maybe it’s not a dessert; maybe it’s a band, or a TV show, or a ___ (fill in the blank).  For me, I can tell you about ice cream and apple pie because of my experience. 

I used to be intimidated when I thought about the concept of “evangelism.”  But when we think about it, isn’t the recipe for evangelism simply to share your experience?  God means something to me, so I want to share this wonderful experience with others around me.  Evangelism, simply put, is sharing your experience with God with somebody else. When I think of it in these terms, it makes it so much simpler and less threatening. 

Acts 1.8 - But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

I’m not a criminal expert, but I know that a witness in a trial is somebody who can give a first-hand account of what happened.  You are a witness to those around you, just by giving a first-hand account of the power and grace of Jesus in your life.  You don’t have to know all of the deep, doctrinal and theological answers to any and every question that may get thrown your way.  You only have to know your experience with God.  It’s been said, “A man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument.” 

So congratulations… You are now an evangelist!  The next time you are feeling a little overwhelmed or scared to evangelize, just remember, it’s as easy as spelling P-I-E.  

_____________

Tim

Now and Later

How do you want to be remembered?

Today there are people dealing with a storm that is no doubt having an effect on life.  Today, August 30, 2012, Hurricane Isaac is moving across the Gulf States.  Seven years ago, on August 29, 2005, the most devastating and costly hurricane, Katrina, hit the same area.  20 years ago, on August 24, 1992, Hurricane Andrew made landfall in Florida.  Katrina and Andrew are on record as being the first and third costliest storms in terms of dollars, and many of us vividly remember the effects both of those storms had on their communities and even our nation.   

Hurricanes are storms that pack a punch and can have lasting effects.  Let me give you an example.

There was a story published in the August 21^st edition of USA Today about a 17-foot Burmese python that was caught in Everglades National Park in West Palm Beach, Florida.  According to the Florida Museum of Natural History, tens of thousands of these snakes are believed to be in the Everglades.  Experts believe that the cause of this uncontrollable outbreak is that 20 years ago during Hurricane Andrew, these pythons escaped from pet stores and have been reproducing in the area ever since.  The story goes on to say that local authorities have taken repeated steps to reduce the issues, but since the pythons have established themselves in the Everglades, they will be virtually impossible to eradicate. 

I’m not a snake fan at all, but the story really captured my attention.  A storm happened 20 years ago, and today experts are still dealing with the effects of that storm.  

I hope that what I am doing with my life now will cause positive effects that people will still be dealing with 20 years from now.  That is my prayer, not only in my own life, but for my family and for you.  I pray that what you are doing to impact people will have a lasting effect. 

James 4.2b… You do not have, because you do not ask.

So today, will you join me in asking God to use our lives to have a lasting effect?  Just like the Burmese python that now experts can’t get rid of,  I pray that later in life, “experts” will look back and say, "I don’t know what you did, but we can’t get rid of it!"  

It simply requires you and me to ask God.  Will you say this prayer with me?  "God, I’m asking that you would use my life in such a way that it will have a lasting effect 20 years down the road.  Amen." 

Go ahead ask God, and while you’re at it, ask big.  

_______________________

Tim

When Life Doesn't Make Sense

I'm a relatively logical person.  I'm also a relatively emotional person.  You know those "thinker" vs. "feeler" tests?  I think I come out higher as a "feeler," but I'm definitely quite a "thinker" as well.  I like for life to make sense.  I like for God to make sense.  I like to be able to explain things.  Anything.  Everything.  If you ask me a question, my assumption is that you want me to give you an answer (although I've learned that's not always the case).  If you give me a problem, my assumption is that you want me to solve it.  So you can understand why one of my favorite AND least favorite passages in the Bible is...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

I was recently re-introduced to a verse that I'm sure I've read before but probably passed over it without catching the deeper meaning behind it...

There are some things the Lord our God has kept secret, but there are some things he has let us know...  Deuteronomy 29:29 (NCV)

The basic meaning:  Sometimes life makes sense.  Sometimes it doesn't.


A few weeks after our daughter, Reagan, turned one year old, Tim and I got a huge surprise.  We found out I was pregnant.  We had been planning to wait at least two years between children, but we embraced the new revelation all the same.  The experience flooded me with mixed emotions, although ultimately, I was thrilled to have another child on the way.  It just seemed so hard to wrap my head around the fact that we were embarking on another 9 months, with all the preparations to make for another new baby...already.  I spent about two weeks doing everything I knew to do to make this reality feel like reality to me.  I started tracking my pregnancy online, reading articles for the first trimester, looking at baby names... anything I could think of to force this surreal experience to feel real. 

Finally, it started sinking in, and whatever trepidation we had felt in the beginning was definitely being won over by joy and anticipation. 

Then the blow -- which I was not at all ready for -- hit.  One day I was pregnant, and the next day I wasn't.  The baby was gone.  At just 7 weeks along, I lost the pregnancy.  I had never felt anything... like this... before.

I believe in miracles.  I believe God does miracles today and that He is just as willing and ready to perform them for us now as He was when Jesus walked the earth.  I don't believe that God takes loved ones from us because He needs "flowers" in His garden or another angel in heaven.  But in spite of my prayers, my fervency, my urgency, the baby was gone.  No matter how I tried to wrap my brain around this new reality, it just didn't make sense to me.

But there is redemption in the inexplicable.

I struggled emotionally with the impact of having lost that baby.  I was very cautious against becoming offended at God; I tried my best not to blame Him or become angry with Him.  But there was so much I didn't understand.  My conversations with God went something like this...

"Why did I even have to get pregnant?  If I had to get pregnant, why did I have to know I was pregnant?  Couldn't I have lost the baby before I ever even realized I was pregnant?  I don't understand why this has happened.  Why is everyone else moving on with life like nothing happened?  Am I the only one hurting over this?  I don't understand why the baby didn't make it... If this is all for me to help someone else down the road, couldn't I have helped them anyway without going through this?  This doesn't make sense..."

As time went on, God graciously granted me some understanding into the whole situation, which I won't go into detail about here.  After many months had passed, Tim and I decided to name our baby, to give him/her an identity that we could remember that baby by.  I know that's not necessary to every person in my shoes, but for me, preserving an identity for my baby was part of my healing process.  Then God used my pastor to minister to me to break the spiritual stronghold that trauma had taken up in my heart.  I forgave God.  I forgave the people around me who I thought didn't care.  I cried.  I released.  I received healing.

I think the most redemptive part of the whole process for me happened the following Spring.  That baby, who I lost in the Fall of 2009, would have been due on June 5, 2010.  In March 2010, I got pregnant with our son, Cole.  It's hard to even fathom now, but if my lost pregnancy had carried through to full-term, Cole could never have been conceived.  Mind-boggling, I know.  I can't (and wouldn't want to) imagine life without our little ball of energy, Cole Judah.  Did he replace that baby?  No, not at all.  It's not possible for one human being to replace another.  We're all created too individually unique for that to be possible.  But for some reason, that baby is in heaven, and Cole Judah is here... full of purpose, full of destiny, full of talents and gifts and callings of God (and full of personality, I might add).

There are some things the Lord our God has kept secret, but there are some things he has let us know.       


We don't always know the reasons behind our sorrows.  And while I don't advocate that God causes our suffering, I do believe that He can work His perfect plan through it, no matter what the situation is, if we'll let Him.  He may even grant us some understanding along the way. 

All in all, when life doesn't make sense and it feels like we're holding a hand full of losing cards, we have the trump card of Trust that we can play:   "I don't understand it, but God's ways are higher."  "I can't make sense of it, but He is strong enough to carry me." 

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7 (KJV)

I love the paraphrase of that verse that I heard a long time ago:

He gives us "peace that doesn't make sense."

I don't know what you're dealing with today.  Maybe it's a fresh experience, or maybe you're carrying inner trauma from a tragedy long ago.  I don't know if you carry guilt with your pain, or perhaps blame and unforgiveness are your daily companions.  Maybe somebody wronged you; maybe you wronged them.  Maybe you're holding hurt towards God.  

What I do know is there is a peace that doesn't make sense.  And sometimes, if only for a season, our only options are either to bow out of the game or to play the trump card of Trust.  I refuse to bow out of the game, and there's a better option for you than simply bowing out.

Sometimes we don't have to know why, in spite of how much we want the understanding.  We just have to trust (Remember, if it made sense to us, it wouldn't really be trust, would it?)  Against all odds, against circumstances that were designed to destroy our trust, that's the very thing that will carry us out.  Trust.

Don't be afraid to trust God again.  He holds your world in His hands.  


_______________________
Amy

Walking With or Walking Away...

How do you handle someone else’s problem?

About a year or so ago, Amy and I were in full potty-training mode with our daughter Reagan.   It was a Thursday night, and I was tasked with taking care of the kids while Amy went to music practice at the church.  Reagan told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so being the good parent that I am, I told her to go to the bathroom and I would be there in a couple minutes.  She proceeded to make her way to the bathroom, shedding her clothes in the process.  About 5 minutes passed, and I realized that my sweet, precious, beautiful little girl had not yet made it back to the living room.  Right about the time I got up to investigate, she came bounding in and, sticking her hands in my face, said, “Look, Daddy! Look!”   She had attempted to clean herself up, but she had poop on her fingers. 

In that moment, I had a choice.  Repulsed by the image before me, I could tell her to go back to the bathroom by herself (and don’t touch anything), or I could go with her and help her clean up the mess.  I’m not going to lie; I thought about telling her to clean it herself, but don’t worry… I went in there and got her cleaned up.  

Later that night as I was recovering from the mental image of having poop shoved in my face, this thought hit me:  That’s life.  When people come to us with their huge, messy problems, we have to decide:  Are we going to walk with them, or are we going to walk away? 

When the moment arises, how do you handle the problem?  Maybe it’s a regretful teenager who tells you she gave up her virginity, or a co-worker that admits to stealing from the company.  Maybe it’s a friend that confides in you that he has been unfaithful. 

I have to be honest; it would be easy to say, “You created the mess, so you can clean it up.” 

Romans 5:20 (ESV) - Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…

You and I won’t know all the answers to give people when they come to us, but what we do know is that there is a gift of Grace that abounds all the more over sin.   Grace doesn’t excuse the mess, but it helps clean up the mess.   Grace walks with.  It doesn’t walk away.

I want to give Grace, because I have been given Grace.  We all have sinned (Romans 3:23), but because of the finished work of Jesus on the Cross and our belief in Him, we can receive and also give Grace. 

I am committed to helping clean up the mess with Grace.  Will you join me?  Let’s extend Grace in life’s messy moments. 

_____________

Tim

When the Uncommon Becomes Common, Part 2

When Relationships Become Ordinary

A lot of things in life start out as "fun" and uncommon but quickly turn routine, mundane, and common. It happens at work. It happens at school. It happens with our relationships with people, even our spouses. It happens with our relationship with God.

We talked a few days ago about what to do when our tasks become ordinary.  But truthfully, many of us struggle much more, on a much deeper level, when our relationships become ordinary.


We often hear people refer to the "honeymoon" period for newlyweds.  Of course, they're not referring to the week after the wedding when the couple is on a honeymoon.  They're talking about that period of time when everything is bells and roses; the new couple is so enthralled with each other, with the newness of the relationship, and with the newness of the marriage, that all they can see is the good, the wonderful.  The honeymoon period comes to an end when each person begins to see that the other person is, well, a person.  A human... Not-so-much that invincible, infallible fairy tale character anymore. 

This happens not only to married couples, but to friendships, working relationships, and again, our relationship with God.

Take siblings for example. Why do you think sibling rivalry is such a huge issue? I must wonder if it stems from the fact that siblings live most of their lives familiar with one another. When my baby sister was born (I was almost 4), there was definitely the novelty of a new baby in the house, so for me, there was a period of newness when she entered my life. But growing up together, that person is always there. And my sister never knew life without me until she was 14 and I moved away to college. We were familiar to one another from the very beginning.


Something is lost in a relationship when everything becomes familiar.

That's not always a bad thing, though.  The danger comes when the novelty of the "new" wears off and we don't replace it with a depth of understanding and appreciation for one another.  When all we're left with is familiarity, the relationship is left wide open for discontent, doubt, disillusionment, and discord.


When I was a teenager, I heard a message preached at youth camp that revolutionized the way I saw my relationship with God and even my relationships with other people.  )You know that message must have made an impact for me remember these three points all these years later).

Really, these three points are applicable not only to relationships, but also to other endeavors -- weight loss, physical fitness, educational pursuits -- but it especially zings with me for relationships.

The preacher, who was hilarious and had a rare knack for connecting with an audience full of teenagers, demonstrated to us a very specific process we would experience in our  relationship with God and in our pursuit of spiritual growth...

He said it starts with...

1.  DESIRE.  In any relationship, including with God, there's that initial spark -- something that attracts you to one another, something that makes you want to get to know that person better.  So you begin the pursuit of doing just that.  With God, we begin reading our Bibles more, we spend time learning to pray, we attend church more faithfully... We begin doing things that will help us in our desire to know Him better.

As time passes, though, the desire tends to fade.  The honeymoon period wears off a little.  That initial excitement vanishes, and oftentimes we wonder if the desire was real in the first place.  This is the time to take caution, though, and understand the process.  Just because the desire faded does not mean the desire was fake or even superficial.  You're in the part of the relationship's progress in which desire transitions into...

2.  DISCIPLINE.  The honeymoon period ends, even with God sometimes.  Now it's not so easy to get up that extra hour early to read and pray.  The newness has worn off.  Familiarity is starting to set in.  Take heed, though, that in these moments where you may begin to question your relationship with God (or your relationship with your spouse)... Although it looks like the relationship has suffered a blow, this is actually a key opportunity for the relationship to undergo significant growth, growth that is deeper and more meaningful than the initial growth it experienced during the honeymoon phase.  This is where the roots dig deep.  This is where you find out exactly how committed you are to the relationship.  And this is where the foundation is set for the relationship to rise or fall. 

So what do we do in those moments when the spark is gone and there are no more goosebumps?  (Maybe they were replaced by bad morning breath or an ugly attitude we'd never thought our spouse was capable of, or maybe they were replaced by a lurking apathy inside of us toward the God we love so much).  

What do we do then?  We power through.  The discipline kicks in to keep us on track, to keep us committed, to keep us in covenant with one another... even when we don't feel the desire the way we used to. 

I hope you're already encouraged, but if not, here comes the most powerful part.  If we can make it through the discipline phase with all of its hard work and commitment, discipline will eventually give way to...

3.  DELIGHT.  There will be that moment when the light bulb goes off, and you realize the discipline was worth it.  It paid off.  You're closer to God than you ever thought possible.  Your spouse and you are more deeply connected than you'd realized.  You have a new level of joy in the relationship.  You see life through totally different eyes.  You can enjoy each other and the relationship on new, deeper levels, with greater security in your covenant's ability to withstand anything life throws at you.


DESIRE.

DISCIPLINE.

DELIGHT.

I've found that relationships go through this process multiple times.  See, once I reach that level of "Delight" and enjoy it for a while, then I begin to feel a desire to do something to elevate the relationship further.  So we start over on a new level with new desire, headed for new disciplines that will bring new delight.

This is how we can keep common relationships uncommon.  It's not a formula.  It's just an understanding of what's already happening, so that we can navigate each season with a greater awareness of its purpose and value for the relationship.  When the newness wears off, we dig our heels in the sand, plug through the discipline to get to delight, and then look for new (uncommon) ways to elevate the relationship to the next level.


Relationships aren't easy.  They're easy to start, but staying the course is a different story.

Whatever you're facing today -- if it's a struggle in your marriage, a struggle with a family member, or a struggle with God -- I encourage you to embrace the discipline phase that you may be in, and rest assured that on the other side of discipline is sheer delight.



(I'd like to thank the guest minister who gave his message to an audience full of teenagers in 1997, and I'd like to thank the Holy Spirit for never letting me forget it).

_________________
Amy