Now and Later

How do you want to be remembered?

Today there are people dealing with a storm that is no doubt having an effect on life.  Today, August 30, 2012, Hurricane Isaac is moving across the Gulf States.  Seven years ago, on August 29, 2005, the most devastating and costly hurricane, Katrina, hit the same area.  20 years ago, on August 24, 1992, Hurricane Andrew made landfall in Florida.  Katrina and Andrew are on record as being the first and third costliest storms in terms of dollars, and many of us vividly remember the effects both of those storms had on their communities and even our nation.   

Hurricanes are storms that pack a punch and can have lasting effects.  Let me give you an example.

There was a story published in the August 21^st edition of USA Today about a 17-foot Burmese python that was caught in Everglades National Park in West Palm Beach, Florida.  According to the Florida Museum of Natural History, tens of thousands of these snakes are believed to be in the Everglades.  Experts believe that the cause of this uncontrollable outbreak is that 20 years ago during Hurricane Andrew, these pythons escaped from pet stores and have been reproducing in the area ever since.  The story goes on to say that local authorities have taken repeated steps to reduce the issues, but since the pythons have established themselves in the Everglades, they will be virtually impossible to eradicate. 

I’m not a snake fan at all, but the story really captured my attention.  A storm happened 20 years ago, and today experts are still dealing with the effects of that storm.  

I hope that what I am doing with my life now will cause positive effects that people will still be dealing with 20 years from now.  That is my prayer, not only in my own life, but for my family and for you.  I pray that what you are doing to impact people will have a lasting effect. 

James 4.2b… You do not have, because you do not ask.

So today, will you join me in asking God to use our lives to have a lasting effect?  Just like the Burmese python that now experts can’t get rid of,  I pray that later in life, “experts” will look back and say, "I don’t know what you did, but we can’t get rid of it!"  

It simply requires you and me to ask God.  Will you say this prayer with me?  "God, I’m asking that you would use my life in such a way that it will have a lasting effect 20 years down the road.  Amen." 

Go ahead ask God, and while you’re at it, ask big.  

_______________________

Tim

When Life Doesn't Make Sense

I'm a relatively logical person.  I'm also a relatively emotional person.  You know those "thinker" vs. "feeler" tests?  I think I come out higher as a "feeler," but I'm definitely quite a "thinker" as well.  I like for life to make sense.  I like for God to make sense.  I like to be able to explain things.  Anything.  Everything.  If you ask me a question, my assumption is that you want me to give you an answer (although I've learned that's not always the case).  If you give me a problem, my assumption is that you want me to solve it.  So you can understand why one of my favorite AND least favorite passages in the Bible is...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

I was recently re-introduced to a verse that I'm sure I've read before but probably passed over it without catching the deeper meaning behind it...

There are some things the Lord our God has kept secret, but there are some things he has let us know...  Deuteronomy 29:29 (NCV)

The basic meaning:  Sometimes life makes sense.  Sometimes it doesn't.


A few weeks after our daughter, Reagan, turned one year old, Tim and I got a huge surprise.  We found out I was pregnant.  We had been planning to wait at least two years between children, but we embraced the new revelation all the same.  The experience flooded me with mixed emotions, although ultimately, I was thrilled to have another child on the way.  It just seemed so hard to wrap my head around the fact that we were embarking on another 9 months, with all the preparations to make for another new baby...already.  I spent about two weeks doing everything I knew to do to make this reality feel like reality to me.  I started tracking my pregnancy online, reading articles for the first trimester, looking at baby names... anything I could think of to force this surreal experience to feel real. 

Finally, it started sinking in, and whatever trepidation we had felt in the beginning was definitely being won over by joy and anticipation. 

Then the blow -- which I was not at all ready for -- hit.  One day I was pregnant, and the next day I wasn't.  The baby was gone.  At just 7 weeks along, I lost the pregnancy.  I had never felt anything... like this... before.

I believe in miracles.  I believe God does miracles today and that He is just as willing and ready to perform them for us now as He was when Jesus walked the earth.  I don't believe that God takes loved ones from us because He needs "flowers" in His garden or another angel in heaven.  But in spite of my prayers, my fervency, my urgency, the baby was gone.  No matter how I tried to wrap my brain around this new reality, it just didn't make sense to me.

But there is redemption in the inexplicable.

I struggled emotionally with the impact of having lost that baby.  I was very cautious against becoming offended at God; I tried my best not to blame Him or become angry with Him.  But there was so much I didn't understand.  My conversations with God went something like this...

"Why did I even have to get pregnant?  If I had to get pregnant, why did I have to know I was pregnant?  Couldn't I have lost the baby before I ever even realized I was pregnant?  I don't understand why this has happened.  Why is everyone else moving on with life like nothing happened?  Am I the only one hurting over this?  I don't understand why the baby didn't make it... If this is all for me to help someone else down the road, couldn't I have helped them anyway without going through this?  This doesn't make sense..."

As time went on, God graciously granted me some understanding into the whole situation, which I won't go into detail about here.  After many months had passed, Tim and I decided to name our baby, to give him/her an identity that we could remember that baby by.  I know that's not necessary to every person in my shoes, but for me, preserving an identity for my baby was part of my healing process.  Then God used my pastor to minister to me to break the spiritual stronghold that trauma had taken up in my heart.  I forgave God.  I forgave the people around me who I thought didn't care.  I cried.  I released.  I received healing.

I think the most redemptive part of the whole process for me happened the following Spring.  That baby, who I lost in the Fall of 2009, would have been due on June 5, 2010.  In March 2010, I got pregnant with our son, Cole.  It's hard to even fathom now, but if my lost pregnancy had carried through to full-term, Cole could never have been conceived.  Mind-boggling, I know.  I can't (and wouldn't want to) imagine life without our little ball of energy, Cole Judah.  Did he replace that baby?  No, not at all.  It's not possible for one human being to replace another.  We're all created too individually unique for that to be possible.  But for some reason, that baby is in heaven, and Cole Judah is here... full of purpose, full of destiny, full of talents and gifts and callings of God (and full of personality, I might add).

There are some things the Lord our God has kept secret, but there are some things he has let us know.       


We don't always know the reasons behind our sorrows.  And while I don't advocate that God causes our suffering, I do believe that He can work His perfect plan through it, no matter what the situation is, if we'll let Him.  He may even grant us some understanding along the way. 

All in all, when life doesn't make sense and it feels like we're holding a hand full of losing cards, we have the trump card of Trust that we can play:   "I don't understand it, but God's ways are higher."  "I can't make sense of it, but He is strong enough to carry me." 

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7 (KJV)

I love the paraphrase of that verse that I heard a long time ago:

He gives us "peace that doesn't make sense."

I don't know what you're dealing with today.  Maybe it's a fresh experience, or maybe you're carrying inner trauma from a tragedy long ago.  I don't know if you carry guilt with your pain, or perhaps blame and unforgiveness are your daily companions.  Maybe somebody wronged you; maybe you wronged them.  Maybe you're holding hurt towards God.  

What I do know is there is a peace that doesn't make sense.  And sometimes, if only for a season, our only options are either to bow out of the game or to play the trump card of Trust.  I refuse to bow out of the game, and there's a better option for you than simply bowing out.

Sometimes we don't have to know why, in spite of how much we want the understanding.  We just have to trust (Remember, if it made sense to us, it wouldn't really be trust, would it?)  Against all odds, against circumstances that were designed to destroy our trust, that's the very thing that will carry us out.  Trust.

Don't be afraid to trust God again.  He holds your world in His hands.  


_______________________
Amy

Walking With or Walking Away...

How do you handle someone else’s problem?

About a year or so ago, Amy and I were in full potty-training mode with our daughter Reagan.   It was a Thursday night, and I was tasked with taking care of the kids while Amy went to music practice at the church.  Reagan told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so being the good parent that I am, I told her to go to the bathroom and I would be there in a couple minutes.  She proceeded to make her way to the bathroom, shedding her clothes in the process.  About 5 minutes passed, and I realized that my sweet, precious, beautiful little girl had not yet made it back to the living room.  Right about the time I got up to investigate, she came bounding in and, sticking her hands in my face, said, “Look, Daddy! Look!”   She had attempted to clean herself up, but she had poop on her fingers. 

In that moment, I had a choice.  Repulsed by the image before me, I could tell her to go back to the bathroom by herself (and don’t touch anything), or I could go with her and help her clean up the mess.  I’m not going to lie; I thought about telling her to clean it herself, but don’t worry… I went in there and got her cleaned up.  

Later that night as I was recovering from the mental image of having poop shoved in my face, this thought hit me:  That’s life.  When people come to us with their huge, messy problems, we have to decide:  Are we going to walk with them, or are we going to walk away? 

When the moment arises, how do you handle the problem?  Maybe it’s a regretful teenager who tells you she gave up her virginity, or a co-worker that admits to stealing from the company.  Maybe it’s a friend that confides in you that he has been unfaithful. 

I have to be honest; it would be easy to say, “You created the mess, so you can clean it up.” 

Romans 5:20 (ESV) - Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…

You and I won’t know all the answers to give people when they come to us, but what we do know is that there is a gift of Grace that abounds all the more over sin.   Grace doesn’t excuse the mess, but it helps clean up the mess.   Grace walks with.  It doesn’t walk away.

I want to give Grace, because I have been given Grace.  We all have sinned (Romans 3:23), but because of the finished work of Jesus on the Cross and our belief in Him, we can receive and also give Grace. 

I am committed to helping clean up the mess with Grace.  Will you join me?  Let’s extend Grace in life’s messy moments. 

_____________

Tim

When the Uncommon Becomes Common, Part 2

When Relationships Become Ordinary

A lot of things in life start out as "fun" and uncommon but quickly turn routine, mundane, and common. It happens at work. It happens at school. It happens with our relationships with people, even our spouses. It happens with our relationship with God.

We talked a few days ago about what to do when our tasks become ordinary.  But truthfully, many of us struggle much more, on a much deeper level, when our relationships become ordinary.


We often hear people refer to the "honeymoon" period for newlyweds.  Of course, they're not referring to the week after the wedding when the couple is on a honeymoon.  They're talking about that period of time when everything is bells and roses; the new couple is so enthralled with each other, with the newness of the relationship, and with the newness of the marriage, that all they can see is the good, the wonderful.  The honeymoon period comes to an end when each person begins to see that the other person is, well, a person.  A human... Not-so-much that invincible, infallible fairy tale character anymore. 

This happens not only to married couples, but to friendships, working relationships, and again, our relationship with God.

Take siblings for example. Why do you think sibling rivalry is such a huge issue? I must wonder if it stems from the fact that siblings live most of their lives familiar with one another. When my baby sister was born (I was almost 4), there was definitely the novelty of a new baby in the house, so for me, there was a period of newness when she entered my life. But growing up together, that person is always there. And my sister never knew life without me until she was 14 and I moved away to college. We were familiar to one another from the very beginning.


Something is lost in a relationship when everything becomes familiar.

That's not always a bad thing, though.  The danger comes when the novelty of the "new" wears off and we don't replace it with a depth of understanding and appreciation for one another.  When all we're left with is familiarity, the relationship is left wide open for discontent, doubt, disillusionment, and discord.


When I was a teenager, I heard a message preached at youth camp that revolutionized the way I saw my relationship with God and even my relationships with other people.  )You know that message must have made an impact for me remember these three points all these years later).

Really, these three points are applicable not only to relationships, but also to other endeavors -- weight loss, physical fitness, educational pursuits -- but it especially zings with me for relationships.

The preacher, who was hilarious and had a rare knack for connecting with an audience full of teenagers, demonstrated to us a very specific process we would experience in our  relationship with God and in our pursuit of spiritual growth...

He said it starts with...

1.  DESIRE.  In any relationship, including with God, there's that initial spark -- something that attracts you to one another, something that makes you want to get to know that person better.  So you begin the pursuit of doing just that.  With God, we begin reading our Bibles more, we spend time learning to pray, we attend church more faithfully... We begin doing things that will help us in our desire to know Him better.

As time passes, though, the desire tends to fade.  The honeymoon period wears off a little.  That initial excitement vanishes, and oftentimes we wonder if the desire was real in the first place.  This is the time to take caution, though, and understand the process.  Just because the desire faded does not mean the desire was fake or even superficial.  You're in the part of the relationship's progress in which desire transitions into...

2.  DISCIPLINE.  The honeymoon period ends, even with God sometimes.  Now it's not so easy to get up that extra hour early to read and pray.  The newness has worn off.  Familiarity is starting to set in.  Take heed, though, that in these moments where you may begin to question your relationship with God (or your relationship with your spouse)... Although it looks like the relationship has suffered a blow, this is actually a key opportunity for the relationship to undergo significant growth, growth that is deeper and more meaningful than the initial growth it experienced during the honeymoon phase.  This is where the roots dig deep.  This is where you find out exactly how committed you are to the relationship.  And this is where the foundation is set for the relationship to rise or fall. 

So what do we do in those moments when the spark is gone and there are no more goosebumps?  (Maybe they were replaced by bad morning breath or an ugly attitude we'd never thought our spouse was capable of, or maybe they were replaced by a lurking apathy inside of us toward the God we love so much).  

What do we do then?  We power through.  The discipline kicks in to keep us on track, to keep us committed, to keep us in covenant with one another... even when we don't feel the desire the way we used to. 

I hope you're already encouraged, but if not, here comes the most powerful part.  If we can make it through the discipline phase with all of its hard work and commitment, discipline will eventually give way to...

3.  DELIGHT.  There will be that moment when the light bulb goes off, and you realize the discipline was worth it.  It paid off.  You're closer to God than you ever thought possible.  Your spouse and you are more deeply connected than you'd realized.  You have a new level of joy in the relationship.  You see life through totally different eyes.  You can enjoy each other and the relationship on new, deeper levels, with greater security in your covenant's ability to withstand anything life throws at you.


DESIRE.

DISCIPLINE.

DELIGHT.

I've found that relationships go through this process multiple times.  See, once I reach that level of "Delight" and enjoy it for a while, then I begin to feel a desire to do something to elevate the relationship further.  So we start over on a new level with new desire, headed for new disciplines that will bring new delight.

This is how we can keep common relationships uncommon.  It's not a formula.  It's just an understanding of what's already happening, so that we can navigate each season with a greater awareness of its purpose and value for the relationship.  When the newness wears off, we dig our heels in the sand, plug through the discipline to get to delight, and then look for new (uncommon) ways to elevate the relationship to the next level.


Relationships aren't easy.  They're easy to start, but staying the course is a different story.

Whatever you're facing today -- if it's a struggle in your marriage, a struggle with a family member, or a struggle with God -- I encourage you to embrace the discipline phase that you may be in, and rest assured that on the other side of discipline is sheer delight.



(I'd like to thank the guest minister who gave his message to an audience full of teenagers in 1997, and I'd like to thank the Holy Spirit for never letting me forget it).

_________________
Amy

Are You a Ford or a Ferrari?

What makes somebody or something stand out??

It was 2003, and my parents, brothers, and I were on a family vacation to Los Angeles. While we were there, we decided to visit the world-famous Rodeo Drive.  While we were traveling down Wilshire Blvd toward Nike Town, I noticed something that stood out to me, and to this day, I have not forgotten it. 

Before I divulge what I saw, let’s talk about the opening question:  What makes somebody or something stand out?  Chances are we notice things when they are different than we are or different than what we have.  We notice when people have a different political view.  We notice different hair colors, hair styles, or fashion trends.  We notice when somebody makes a stand against what culture says is normal.  Different causes us to stop and take notice.

I tend to give a lot of notice to cars, and I especially enjoy seeing really nice cars.  As we’re driving, I’ll often point out a brand new Mercedes or a rarer model of BMW to my wife.  I know the cost and value of those cars, and they impress me.  So you’ll understand why what I saw that day in 2003 on Wilshire Blvd was impressive to me.  As we drove toward Nike Town, I noticed on my left… a Ferrari dealership.  Yes, you read that correctly.  A Ferrari dealership.  It was something that stood out to me, because it was different than the usual.  It was unique.  It was special.  To this day, it’s the only Ferrari dealership I have ever seen in person. 

1 Peter 2.9 (KJV) -  But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 

That word “peculiar” stands out to me as I read that text.  One of the definitions for peculiar is “uncommon.”   

You are “Chosen,” “Royalty,” “Holy,” and “Uncommon.”  God has called each of us to be uncommon people.  Unfortunately, I think we live our lives as the opposite; we live just as culture dictates. 

My wife and I have a Ford Explorer.  It’s a good vehicle for our family.  It gets us where we need to go, and it’s a comfortable car.  But not too many people notice our Ford going down the highway.  We don’t turn too many heads.  No one walks up to me at the gas station and says, “Man! I love your car! That’s a real beauty.”  Why?  Because it’s common.  It’s expected.  You can pass twelve Ford Explorers on the way to work every morning.  It’s not that it’s a bad car.  But it’s a common car.  You’re not going to notice that Ford on the road… but if a Ferrari zips past you, chances are, your head will whirl around to try to catch another glimpse.

I think Christ-followers live life more like a Ford than a Ferrari.  It should be the other way around.  

What if we understood our value in God?  That we are chosen, royalty, holy, uncommon?  What if knowing that value caused us to live life with such confidence that we could live an uncommon life full of God’s love to the world? 

What If????

What if we traded hate for Love?  Guilt for Grace?  Carelessness for commitment? 

What if we loved and blessed our enemies?  What if we repaid wrong with right?

Do you think people would stop and take notice?  Could your uncommonness inspire someone else toward becoming “peculiar people?”

Somebody stands out because they have made the decision to be different.  They have decided to tithe when it’s more popular to argue about tithing.  They have decided that church is the focal point when it’s more popular to fill your schedule with “other” activities.  They have decided that family is priority when it’s more popular to chase careers and material things.  They have decided to handle conflict with Love when it’s more popular to blast the other person on Facebook and Twitter.

The Fords in our life go unnoticed, but what if we lived more like Ferraris? 

___________

Tim

When the Uncommon Becomes Common, Part 1

What do you do when life becomes mundane?


When I was a little girl, I used to love to play "secretary" or "office" with my sister, using all of our mom's desk "toys."  You know, the fun stuff... staplers, Scotch tape, Post-It notes, and my favorite, LABELS.


Labels of any and all varieties were so much fun to me.  Seeing my daughter now and her love for stickers, I guess my fascination with labels was because they were "grown-up" stickers.  File labels, address labels, shipping labels, those little, colorful, circular dots my mom used for pricing garage sale items... They were all so much fun.


While I loved playing secretary, it was never my lifelong dream to become a secretary.  However, I learned some typing and computer skills to prepare me for my transition into the real world, and it's a good thing I did.  After graduating college, I spent the next 8 years doing secretarial-based work.  8 years.


Guess what?  Over time as a secretary, labels that once were the uncommon, fun thing to play with became somewhat of a nuisance.  (Don't get me wrong; there's still this little dork inside me who loves playing with labels to this very day).  But something that had been an uncommon treat, a toy to play with in my childhood, turned into a very common, daily obligation - part of my job.


It may seem like a silly example, but you know, a lot of things in life start out as "fun" and uncommon but quickly turn routine, mundane, and common.  It happens at work.  It happens at school.  It happens with our relationships with people, even our spouses.  It happens with our relationship with God.


Maybe in a future post we can explore what to do when relationships become common, but for now, let's just explore the "doing" aspect... work, school, etc.




What do you do when exciting turns to blah?  In my experience, there's one answer that is usually the right answer in these scenarios... You do it anyway.


You know that verse that makes us all cringe when someone throws it out to us?  

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters..." (Colossians 3:23 NIV)


We often forget the next verse, though...


"since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."




No one hates the mundane more than I do.  I am very much a "projects-oriented" kind of person.  I love starting a new project, meeting a deadline, creating a new design, meeting another deadline.  I can do that all day.  It's those non-deadline, ordinary, boring things that irk me... For a secretary, it can be running another label for another envelope.  Feeding another sheet of letterhead through the printer.  Answering another email that asked the same question as the last email.  Answering another boring phone call.  Yours may be different, but you know what I'm talking about... those things that seem to lose their meaning and significance the more you do them.


Sometimes there's purpose in the mundane, and sometimes there may not be. A lot of jobs seem to involve meaningless "busy work," and a lot of employees gripe about it.  But our instruction is not to justify the work.  Our instruction is to work at it with all our heart, as if we're reporting directly to the Lord.  Because we are.  


Ouch, right?  I think I stepped on my own toes there.




If it helps, remember why you're doing the busy work in the first place.  Besides doing it for the Lord, which is first and foremost, you're probably getting a paycheck for it, so maybe the sheer purpose of the common things is to put food on your table.  If that's the case, you can be thankful that someone is willing to pay you to do something that you don't feel even needs to be done, and it's a miraculous source of provision for you. 


If you're a student, then the purpose in the common for you is obviously the diploma or degree that you are working toward, as well as the advantage to your future that you expect it to provide.


Maybe you're a stay-at-home mom (or dad) who does the busy work of laundry, dishes, bathe the kids, chauffeur the kids, cook dinner, more laundry, more dishes...  Even if your mundane work doesn't bring home a paycheck, the sense of order and sheer value you are adding to your household is immeasurable.


If you absolutely cannot find any beneficial purpose to what you are doing, then my first question to you is, "Why are you still doing it?" and second, "What should you be doing?"


But chances are, there is purpose in the common, ordinary things you're doing.  And chances are just as great that God provided that opportunity for you to do those things.  So while the common may be unappealing, boring, and seem to go unrewarded at times, maybe it would do us good to remember verse 24...


"...you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."


If I can receive an inheritance from the God of all the universe just by doing the common things with an uncommon attitude, it's totally worth it to me.




___________
Amy

Of Mice and Men and Skunks and Such

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

When Tim & I were a whopping one month into our marriage, we bought our first house. It seemed like such a great opportunity, but we learned the hard way why many wise advisors caution couples against buying a house early in marriage. 

The house was built in the 1920’s. It had a dirt basement. It sat in a mostly peaceful but not so up-and-coming part of our city. But the worst part of all:  It had a dirt basement. Yes, I know I said that already. But that’s important to remember.

My Dad, who in addition to being a pastor is one of the finest contractors on the planet, had renovated the entire living space for this house.  The main floor and upper half-story were completely transformed and had a charming mix of new-meets-quaintly old.  We thought it would be a great starter house until we started having kids.

I never even knew what a dirt basement was until this house.  Basically, it’s an oversized crawlspace that you can access from the inside of the house.  We had a basement door with steps leading down into this pit of dirt, whose only functions besides disgusting me (I never once stepped foot in that basement the entire 5 years we lived there) were to house the furnace and water heater, to provide some limited storage, and to allow access to unwanted water leaks and… rodents.

That’s right.  Rodents.

The first year or two that we lived there, we didn’t have any problems that we knew of.  So as we approached the birth of our first child, we made the decision to do a few more improvements to the house and stay put a little while longer.  We got the baby’s room ready, as cute as could be, and we brought our new baby home. 

It was the following Spring when things took a turn for the worse.  We went on a trip to visit Tim’s family for a week, and when we came back, our house was infested with mice.

Our dogs (Yorkshire terriers, which are internally wired for catching rodents) had been going nuts around the floor vents in the house, scratching under the dishwasher, behind the washing machine…  Then it happened.  We were sitting in the living room watching TV one evening, and I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye.  I looked across the room just in time to see a mouse running up the stairs… to my baby’s room.

I freaked out.

We packed suitcases and went to stay with my parents for the next week and a half or so while Tim set out traps to catch them.  It was horrific.

I remember the first day of attempted mouse-catching.  Tim had set two traps downstairs.  He went home on his lunch break to check the traps and called me with the report.  I eagerly yet disgustedly asked, “Did we catch any?”  “Yep.”  “How many?”  He said, “You’re not ready for this.  With two traps, we caught three mice.”  Gross!  “How in the world?!”  Both traps caught a mouse each, and the third mouse had fallen in our dogs’ water bowl.

 Yuck.  I know.  Trust me, you don’t have to tell me that.

During those two weeks, we -- and by “we,” I mean Tim, because I absolutely was not going near them -- caught 14 mice before we felt the coast was clear for us to clean house and move back in.

Thus began a streak of rodent issues.

One morning, I went downstairs to the kitchen and found a partially-eaten tomato sitting next to the stove.  We quickly realized we had a rat.  It turns out the rat had made its home in the back of our oven.  Tim caught it, but not before it had completely ruined our oven by eliminating on the insulation.  That oven became scrap metal for some kind soul who came and hauled it away for me.

We had exterior issues with groundhogs and possums under our shed.  Those were more of a nuisance than anything, although they did pose a threat to our two tiny dogs, especially the night that a possum bit my dog, Nicholas, on the nose. 

We often joked (in a cynical, non-funny way) about charging admission to the “zoo” that we apparently owned right in the middle of Roanoke City.

Then came the skunks.  I always thought skunks were pretty little boogers… The stark black and white markings.  And who doesn’t love Pepe le Pew? 

I don’t.  Not anymore.

When our son was just 6 weeks old and I was still on maternity leave with him, a skunk moved in under our house. 

And it sprayed. 

We were forced to move in with my parents, this time as a family of four, while we aired out the house for a few days and tried to catch the skunk.  The smell was so bad that a professional serviceman said it was the worst case of skunk spray in a house that he had ever witnessed.  It permeated the whole house, including our furniture, our clothes, our curtains… everything.  Days later, we would go to church, and people would smell skunk on us and our children.

We hired a wildlife company to catch the skunk, which they did.  And then another one moved in.  Despite our efforts, we never caught that one, but it never sprayed, either.  However, there was always this lingering “twinge” of a smell when you walked in our house.

This past winter, we had a really bad case of deja-vu.  We suspected we might have a mouse issue again, because of how the dog was acting.  Then, as I was talking on the phone one late afternoon while working on my home computer, I saw a mouse run up those same stairs to my little girl’s room.

I really, really freaked out.  I was at the end of my emotional rope with this house.

And for the third time, we moved out of that house.  This time, we never moved back. 

That happened on a Friday evening.  The next Wednesday, we had signed a lease and were moving into a brand new, never-lived-in-before townhouse.  We felt like we’d just moved to Beverly Hills!

***

You know, there are a lot of life lessons to take away from these stories, besides the obvious.  And I hope these are lessons that will encourage and challenge you in whatever you’re facing today…
 

Lesson 1:  Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.  Appearances can be oh, so wrong.  This little house had all the makings of a cute, perfect house for starting a family.  But under the surface lay a dark secret that no matter how much we ignored, would always be there, always causing problems. 

What secrets are you hiding today, hoping that if you ignore them long enough, they’ll just go away? 

I urge you, please deal with them.  If you need a church to help you, I know a great one I can recommend.  Find a prayer partner, a small group leader, someone who can talk with you and pray with you to face and deal with whatever it is that’s been taunting you.  A childhood marred by abuse.  An unfaithful spouse.  A hidden sin.  An unconquerable addiction.  Whatever it is, hiding it is not worth the cost to you.  The cost is your freedom.  Your freedom in God, your freedom in relationships, your freedom in your calling in life.

I learned the hard way that ignoring a dirt basement and pretending it’s not there does not relinquish you from the reality that it’s still… always… there.  Neither does it relinquish you from the fear that just when you have things going pretty perfectly, it will allow some intrusion into your private, personal life that can turn things totally upside down.

I beg you.  Find a solid leader in a life-giving church or a Christian counselor, and start dealing with your dirt basement.

Lesson 2:  Our issues affect other people.  When that skunk sprayed our house, we had done nothing to deserve it.  (We had also done nothing to prevent it, apparently, but that’s another issue).  We didn’t invite the skunk in.  But when it moved in, invited or not, its issues became our issues.  The skunk wasn’t the one who had to walk into church embarrassed because other people could smell it.  The skunk didn’t get kicked out of its home for 10 days because it couldn’t tolerate its smell.  We were the beneficiaries of the skunk’s issues.

Maybe you have been the beneficiary of someone else’s “stuff.”  Maybe your dad’s addiction caused you to live your life embarrassed, always apologizing for his behavior.  Maybe your mom’s perpetual, lifelong manipulation has affected your own relationships with your kids.  Maybe you have your own issues that you know are affecting your spouse, your kids, your parents, your co-workers…  Whatever it is, the solution is not to feel sorry for yourself, nor is it to ignore the issue.  You have to deal with it, in whatever way will bring about good for you, your family, and your relationships. 

This is not something to be done hastily or without prayer.  A couple of guys offered to rip up the floor of our laundry room, find the skunk under there, and shoot it.  I didn’t take them up on their offer.  Besides the fact that discharging a firearm in Roanoke City is not exactly legal, I also know that the best way to deal with a skunk is not to rush up on it and catch it by surprise.  Some issues take careful thought, solid counsel from a spiritual authority in your life, and very delicate care.  But they do have to be dealt with.

Lesson 3:  God still does “suddenlies.”  We were in that house much longer than we planned to be, and that happens a lot in life.  It especially happens when sin is involved, both with our own sin and with the sin of others that affects us.

In the case of sin, there’s a saying that says, “Sin will take you farther than you intended to go; it will cost you more than you intended to pay; it will keep you longer than intended to stay.”

For the greater part of the five years that we lived in that house, I longed for a place that didn’t have those issues.  On January 28, I felt trapped, victim to all of the house’s issues.  I had absolutely no idea that within one week – just 7 days from then – I would be living in a brand new home, free from rodents and skunks and groundhogs and possums.  While this is not our permanent dwelling place by any means, we saw just how quickly things can turn around.

There have been times that my issues seemed insurmountable.  I felt so overcome by my own sin, by my own failures, by fragmented relationships, that I saw no way out.  But I’ve learned that God can and often does change things in an instant.

Sometimes all it takes is one phone call to that person, one kind gesture, one act of understanding to turn a whole relationship around.

Sometimes all it takes is one Scripture verse strategically placed in your path for a river of peace to break through the stress of your week.

Sometimes all it takes is one prayer, one desperate plea to God, for the provision you need to make it another day, another week, another month.

Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes in God’s Presence – worshiping Him and surrendering all to Him – for the oppression and depression that have been weighing down so heavily on you to be shattered by fullness of hope and joy.

Whatever looks impossible in your life today, please know that there is hope – hope in a God who still performs “suddenlies.”

Whether you can see it or not, God still has a plan for you.  He still holds your future.  And He can guide you above and beyond the insurmountable obstacles you’re facing, into those plans “to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”